A Treasury of Strange, Random Quotes - Enjoy!

If you can't be committed to a church, how can you be committed to a marriage? - Peter Loewen

I've church-hopped for the last two years. I just don't think I'm ready to commit. - K

Pastor at CLA: I feel sorry for people at home watching cable tonight. They should be here!
Andrea: Yeah, it's more of a show!

I suspect he's getting help... or maybe not. - John Dyck

Where are we going? Why am I in this handbasket?

My legs are becoming objects. - Bob Doede

Information does not generate morality. - Lynn Szabo

Authenticity is another cultural wet dream. - Bob Doede

No, I don't have friends. But they're Christians, so they pretend. - Allen

Do you think these are just for decoration?
Yes!
Damn!... Shit!

I was challenged today by a conversation with a professor who asked me why I wanted to be a writer. Her point was that there are many mediocre writers out there, and for every good or even acceptably-good writer there is who actually is published, there are thousands more who never "make it."

So why go into writing?

My answer - because I want to. And because if I do not try, then I will never know if I could have done something.
If I try and fail, well that is an entirely plausible even likely thing.

But here I am writing tonight, and getting not very far. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm trying to write "Creative Non-Fiction" which is much more difficult than it sounds.

Right now I'm thinking that I will never amount to anything as a writer, and it is probably true.

Bah - forgive the self-indulgent blathering...

two papers in three days.

what the f was i thinking?

a lollipop screamed at me - I'm not good enough




today the world is unknowable. tomorrow it will no longer exist.

knowledge distorts.

i read the writing on the window. outside it's raining.

i can't ignore you unless i don't exist.

A return to my Existential roots...

I am currently working on a paper which discusses "The Trial" by Kafka as an Existential work. Finally! I get to write a paper that I actually want to write!

Even my initial thoughts are inspired, I feel.

The story of Joseph K. reflects many Existential themes. First, the life of K. is one of a mysterious contingency. He discovers that he lives in a world in which there is no eternal grammar, no order to the universe; things just are for no particular reason. This senselessness is reflected by the bureaucratic world in which he lives. K. is arrested in the first chapter for what appears to be no particular reason. Or at least, for no verifiable reason. He asks his warders what crime he is charged with, and they reply, "We are not authorized to tell you that" (3), but the truth is that they themselves do not in fact know the nature of his charge. Faced with such absurdity, K. feels it necessary to make sense of this matter. After his arrest, K. feels as though his household has been "thrown into great disorder... and that it was his task alone to put it right again" (17). Over the course of his trial, he enlists the help of several persons in an attempt to udnerstand his case and thereby achieve a verdict of innocence. However, though the Law Courts may operate under some system of reason, comprehension of such is ungraspable. He is held guilty, but his crime is undiscoverable. As the priest confirms to K. in one of the final chapters, "You are held to be guilty.... Your guilt is supposed... to have been proved" (210).

independence

i.

Life is a progression of dependencies. Or so it seems.
We are born into dependence; unable to care for ourselves, we gladly suck at the teat of our parents, sucking as much and as often as we are able.

Warm milk. Sour milk.

Acceptance. Rejection.

Homogeneous.

As we become adults, we transfer our dependency onto our peers, our lovers, our employers, God.

yet we desire this "independence." we put great effort into this endeavour: we become educated, we mortgage houses, we believe that responsibility equals independence.

But we want the throne that we have already abdicated. Why do we kick against the goads?

Independence, like authenticity, is another cultural wet-dream.

ii.

i am independant. i live alone. i support myself. i am in love.

i am a university student. i create my own morality. the world is mine. opportunities are there to be taken.

i am in control of my own destiny.

iii.

control:


who has it?
who does not?
why?

an insightful conversation...

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

the only part of church i liked today was the communion and the benediction: may the lord Jesus, the love of the Father and the peace of the Holy Spirit be with you always.

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

the preaching had been quite intellectual for a while, but i think the other things outweigh the preaching

all this I shall see, and stop peddling in words that mean nothing to me. says:

other things?

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

the cliche, the unattentiveness and laziness of the attitude of the attenders, the shallow hymns, the huge electronic board/video thing between me and the "stage," the fact that there is a stage, etc...

all this I shall see, and stop peddling in words that mean nothing to me. says:

hehe

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

the fact that it doesn't mean anything to me, and we're all rich and comfortable in our spirituality

all this I shall see, and stop peddling in words that mean nothing to me. says:

do you feel uncomfortable?

all this I shall see, and stop peddling in words that mean nothing to me. says:

I sure do...

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

i feel like i'm being tube-fed when i go to church anymore, it doesn't seem to go anywhere

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

i feel horribly uncomfortable

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

i feel like i can never be like them

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

it's so strange

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

i want to be real to myself and God

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

and i can't do that there

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

(sorry for ranting)

all this I shall see, and stop peddling in words that mean nothing to me. says:

no no... no no no... fine fine

all this I shall see, and stop peddling in words that mean nothing to me. says:

i think I am comforted, though, by the fact that there are people besides myself who are thinking the same things

all this I shall see, and stop peddling in words that mean nothing to me. says:

It gives me some semblance of hope that together we may be able to figure something out.

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

i think we can

all this I shall see, and stop peddling in words that mean nothing to me. says:

I'd like to figure out how to meet with God...

all this I shall see, and stop peddling in words that mean nothing to me. says:

in a real way...

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

and i don't think that God has a problem with doing what we're doing

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

i think he likes it, actually

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

i would like to figure that out, too. because, i know that he's there, and that he loves.

all this I shall see, and stop peddling in words that mean nothing to me. says:

yeah.... I want to catch glimpses, you know....

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

me too

all this I shall see, and stop peddling in words that mean nothing to me. says:

I think sometimes I do.

all this I shall see, and stop peddling in words that mean nothing to me. says:

Not too often, and usually in unusual ways, but I think it happens.

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

yeah, i think you're right

What should I then presume? How should I begin? says:

... i believe you're right.

all this I shall see, and stop peddling in words that mean nothing to me. says:

It comforts me to think that it is at least possible to catch glimpses, that God is there, and that I can find him...